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About the time our son Jordan turned 12, he was 5’3” and 103 pounds, and my husband and I were worried. We didn’t want to make our son feel bad about his body, so we said nothing—but his kid sister poked him in the tummy and called him chubby. “I am fat,” Jordan would moan, grabbing handfuls of belly. “Am I fat?” Frankly, I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t know what to think.
We’d heard that children today are fatter than ever: 20 years ago, 5%-7% of American kids were overweight; now over 15% are and another 15% are headed that way. And today’s youngsters are at a previously unheard-of risk of developing type 2 diabetes, according to the National Institutes of Health.
Fortunately, our pediatrician reassured Jordan (and us) that he needed that extra padding for when he suddenly shot up, like most young teens do. We also found out that Jordan’s BMI—body mass index, a measure of weight for height—put him in the center of the healthy range for a boy his age.
I also learned it can be tough to get a 12-year-old to feel good about his body. “This is a very vulnerable time,” says Laurie Dunham, R.D., L.D. in the division of adolescent medicine at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. “Meanwhile, the ‘desirable’ body is unrealistically thin, adding to adolescents’ feelings of inadequacy.” Further tipping the scales are school athletic activities such as gymnastics, wrestling, or dance that may require kids to weigh a certain amount.
An adolescent’s body image may be tied up in height as well as weight, says Dunham. “I know of one girl who’s very self-conscious because she’s not as tall as the rest of her friends. Adolescents want so much to be like their peers, and if they’re shorter, they worry that they’ll seem younger, while their friends are perceived as older and more mature.”
What can parents do to promote healthy body awareness? Experts offer the following tips:
SKIP THE SCALE. “Frequent weigh-ins send the message that the number is important—but it’s not,” says Dunham. She recommends reserving weigh-ins for visits with health professionals.
URGE, BUT DON'T PESTER. Almost two-thirds of 9 to 13-year-olds don’t take part in organized physical activity outside of school. But instead of nagging a TV addict to turn off the tube, say, ‘You look bored. Want to walk or shoot some hoops?” suggests Melinda Sothern, Ph.D., director of the Pediatric Obesity Laboratory at Louisiana State University Health Sciences Center in New Orleans. Leave new toys in sight—a yo-yo, baton, Hacky Sack, paddle ball—“anything to make a kid get up and move around.”
SING YOUR CHILD'S PRAISES. If your usually sedentary son takes a hike or scales a rock wall, commend him. “Say, ‘You did great!’” says Sarah Stevens, M.D., M.P.H., a pediatrician in adolescent medicine at Lehigh Valley Hospital and Healthy Network in Allentown, PA. “Don’t add, ‘Next time, maybe you’ll be faster’”—that will only enforce his feelings of not being quite good enough.
Related Articles and Activites:
Jump Start (Ages 2-5)
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